Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Laura Dell in the City

Laura Dell had never had any reason to go in the maintenance closet, so she was unsure of the exact location. As she wandered to the back of the museum she found the door labeled Janitors Closet and went in. She saw every cleaning product you could think of, but no mop. She looked around the dark musty closet and saw the broom propped in a corner, surrounded by an aged but huge spider web.
“Damnit!” Laura Dell hissed at herself. Though she was from the South she was not a fan of insects, especially the kind with eight legs. She shuddered at the thought of meeting the maker of that web and chose to go another route. She picked up a pair of latex gloves off the shelf and an aged cloth and headed to give Sue a good rub-down.

***

The day had gotten away from Laura Dell and she was not a bit tired when she went through the revolving doors of the museum. It was a cold night, but she was not ready to go home yet. She decided to explore the town for a bit. As she walked down Maxwell Street she was so intrigued by all of the diverse people that filled the street that night. She also noticed there was an unusually large amount of couples out-young and old. Usually Laura Dell would begin to get depressed like most girls her age at the thought of being single but for some reason the only thing she could think of was sharing this beautiful night stroll with Herbert.

“Oh, excuse me!I didn’t see-“

“Watch where you are going!” a man in a dark toboggan and long leather coat sneered at Laura Dell as I rushed past her. She had been so caught up in her own thoughts she did not notice she had slowed her pace. She could not believe that man had been in that big of a hurry he had to bump into her to get her out of the way. She laughed to herself thinking what John William would have done to that creep if he had been there.

Come in for a glass of wine…on us! Laura Dell read the sign and was walking into the cozy little bar before she knew it. Laura Dell, being from the south and only having an older brother and a mother who believed a bottle of Bud Light sufficed as a sophisticated dinner drink, had never been educated on the art of wine drinking.

“Hello, what can I get for you today?” the waitress looked to be about Laura Dell’s age but she had a certain look about her that Laura Dell felt she lacked. She had the look of over-confidence with a hint of elegance and poise.

“Ummm, I saw your sign and thought I’d try something new. What do you suggest?” Laura Dell tried not to sound too much like a tourist, but she knew she had failed.

“Where are you from?” the girl asked Laura Dell with a smile on her face.

“My accent gave it away?” Laura Dell let out a little laugh. “Alabama”

“I knew it was somewhere down south. I am from Atlanta.” The girl told Laura Dell.”I’m Sydney.”

“I am Laura Dell, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” The girls begin to talk and Laura Dell discovered she might be replacing that 6-pack in her fridge with a bottle of white wine.

“Well I moved to Chicago a few years ago to attend the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. I have taken dance lessons my whole life and I have always known it was what I wanted to do the rest of my life.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. I have always had two left feet so I have steered clear of any type of dancing.” Laura Dell told Sydney as she refreshed her glass. By the time she had finished her third glass she had told Sydney all about her internship and her new found friendship with Dr. Walters.

“Seems like this Dr. Walter’s guy is a little more than just a friend” Sydney laughed as she wiped the bar off and took Laura Dell’s glass.

“Why do you say that?” Laura Dell asked a little too quickly.

“Oh, just the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about him. I have been here four years and have yet to find a good guy here.”

“Oh, no, no it’s not like that. He is just a good friend, ya know? He has been really nice to me since I got here and I can’t say that for many people I have met up here. This is a whole different world that my hometown.” Laura Dell could not help wondering what she was really feeling about Dr. Walters. She was not sure if she really believed that she only saw him as just a friend. She figured these thoughts were just a result of the wine and decided to decline that fourth glass Sydney had sat in front of her.
Laura Dell and Sydney had enjoyed their chat so much they decided to exchange numbers and planned to meet for dinner later in the week.

***
Lying in bed she thought back over her time in Chicago and how the only real adventure she had had was her L-train ride with Herbert. She knew she had not seen half of what Chicago had to offer and she was anxious to see what the city had to offer. She also could not stop thinking about Herbert and his whereabouts. It had only been about two days since she saw him last but she felt like something was missing without their daily talks. Laura Dell could not stop thinking about what Sydney had said about her relationship with Herbert. Though she was alone she felt her face burning from the embarrassment she felt from even having these silly thoughts.

***
Laura Dell jumped out of bed when she heard knocking at her front door. She grabbed her cell phone to see what time it was- 6:45 AM. She had no idea who it could be this early. When she reached the door and looked through the peep hole she saw a UPS man at the door with a medium sized package.

“Laura Dell?” he asked while eyeing her oversized and worn Auburn t-shirt that was speckled with Clorox stains. She cursed herself for not throwing on that fluffy pink robe her mother had insisted she bring. She signed for the package and shut the door. There was no return address so she had no idea who the package was from. She opened it and inside were two tickets to the Chicago theatre, a note from John William and a tiny penguin bobble-head doll.

Sis,
I know you have been working hard and not playing enough. So, take your beau Herb and have a night on the town…unless you have found someone that was born in the same decade as you? I’m kidding! Go have fun.
P.S.
Hope you like the penguin. You two kind of look alike!
John William


Laura Dell could not help but laugh at her brother’s humor. She also couldn’t help but think about how much he reminded her of her father. She had an hour and a half before she had to leave for work, but she was wide awake. Laura Dell couldn’t help but hope Herbert would be at the museum today, she wanted to tell him all about Sydney and John William’s surprise for her. She was a little unsure if she wanted to invite him to the theatre though, that might seem a little weird, like a date. She pushed those thoughts aside and got dressed for work, no way she was going to give Feinman anything to yell at her about today.

15 comments:

  1. Hey Guys!
    I hope I kept the pace going. I have a tendancy of speeding through things sometimes. I decided to introduce Sydney because I thought it would be interesting for LD to actually have a female friend around her age. So, maybe she can appear again in the story or maybe she will be a flake and never call. That is up to you guys!I also added the little surprise from JW because I thought it would be fun to see LD do something a little out of her comfort zone maybe with Herb or Syd or who knows.

    Hope you guys like it. :)

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  2. oh no!
    i meant to mention a scene with the bird.
    SORRY!-well I guess the next author will handle it.
    *Don't be too mad guys. :)

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  3. Lovely job! I really enjoyed the introduction of a good girlfriend! I think girls are able to talk one on one about guys a lot easier and with less awkwardness than mothers or brothers so I really appreciated that. Also, it made the conversation really hit home. It made everything real for some reason because she was talking to someone on her own level - not an old man level, not a brother level or a mother level - just girl to girl.

    I also loved the gift from JW! Nice humor! It is progressing nicely and you did a lovely job with the pacing. I think your mention of the bird in the beginning was just enough to keep us wondering what happened to the bird.

    Great job!

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  4. Great chapter TeNesha! I really enjoyed the conversation between LD and Sydney as a way to develop the feelings between LD and Dr.W. I'm glad that we got another person's opinion on their relationship.

    I also loved the surprise from JW. His line about finding a guy born in the same decade was hilarious. Thats totally a brotherly thing to say.

    I think its okay that you didnt bring the bird back. We probably dont want to get too heavy on it anyway.

    For the next chapter, I think we need to bring Dr. W back and find out how he is doing.

    Good work!

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  5. One thing I'd like to point out is that the guy that bumped into her sounded kinda sketchy...

    I loved how LD decided to go out on the town. As it turns out, she made a friend so it wasn't a bad idea. Although I think I'd hesitate, myself, to walk around a big city like that all by myself at night....

    I LOVE the penguin bobblehead. I don't know what it is about penguins but I think they're the perfect animal for LD. And JW sending it, with the tickets, might really be a way for him to apologize for "ratting her out" to their mom.

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  6. TeNesha! The pacing was excellent and you added some great elements to our story!

    I think the bird at the beginning was perfect. It gave us a little more, but you didn't overdo it or bring it to completion. Good call!

    I also really liked that LD just goes out to explore. You added the right amount of trepidation, but I'm going to do it anyway kind of attitude. I would definitely have been about the same so it felt very real for me. The conversation with Sydney was also well done. Like Allie said, it's a great move to give her time with a girl on her level. It felt very genuine.

    The surprise from JW was funny and a good surprise. I also like how you play with the confused feelings about what Dr. W is supposed to be to LD. I don't really see a romantic relationship playing out myself, but everything you did with her thoughts seem so appropriate to her situation. She doesn't have a lot of other people. She likes spending time with him. She's starting to wonder if that should mean something else or not.

    Great work!
    michelle

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  7. What? Women can have female friends, too? Oh, us. Whatever will we think of next? /endsarcasm

    Really, I think it's kinda funny that we didn't give her a female friend before now. Of course, we have to figure out how we want to pull her strings, but that won't be too hard.

    The package is a nice twist. Now, since this is supposed to be set in 1996, what was playing at the Chicago Theater then?

    I'm really starting to wonder what the point of the bird is now. Maybe we can all go crazy and write about Sue eating the thing. Hahaha. It doesn't seem like it has much of a point, other than acting as a plot device for Feinman to get upset.

    We'll see.

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  8. What a guy, that John William. Good imagination, Tenesha. Also, good addition of another character.

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  9. Great Job!
    I'm glad you introduced Sydney too. The reader gets even more informed about Laura Dell and her relationship with Herb through another characters eyes, especially one who's talkative and outgoing like Sydney.
    I'm loving the surprise from John Williams too. I totally had a girl moment, getting all excited and imagining them both getting dressed up and going to the show together. Herbert in a tux, so cute. Anyway, can't wait!

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  10. This was a great chapter. You did a lot of set up for stuff to come, especially with the theater. I like everyone else, liked the gift, I thought it was humorous and fit in well with JW's character.

    Really want to know what's going to happen at the theater, and again, i think things are going to need to get serious soon.

    Good job Tenesha!

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  11. Great addition Tenesha!

    I liked that we got to see LD interact with someone new. It was interesting to see her trying to figure out her own relationship with Herbert through talking with Sydney.

    I'm looking foward to seeing LD out in Chicago some more, whether it be with Herbert or Sydney.

    I'm excited for the next chapter! Good Job Tenesha!

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  12. Great chapter. I was begining to wonder if Laura Dell had some horrible physical deformity that was keeping her from having any female friends. I think the addition of Sydney will be a great chance too see what LD is thinking about ole DW. Looking forward to the theatre.

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  13. Excellent chapter! I really enjoyed the interaction we had between LD and Sydney. I think it will be a great place for depth in LD's character and how she can and will interact with other women in her life beyond her mother.

    Great use of details such as the bobble head penguin doll! Nice touch!

    Cheers,
    - Megan F.

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  14. i'm glad she's found a girl friend! and someone her own age to chat with! did LD tell sydney how old herbert was? would sydney have insinuated that LD liked him as more than a friend if she knew how old he really was? I'm excited to see if LD acts differently with a girl friend than she might with herbert.

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  15. I really like that we have a female influence in the story now. It will do a good job to add scope. Also it seems like JW is coming around to Herb. Anyway, good job.

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