Saturday, April 3, 2010

To Orange

Laura Dell sipped her coffee. Her brain hadn't shut down well last night, what with Herbert's revelation, her mother's lecture ("He's your grandmother's age, you know, you can't be involved with someone your grandmother might date!"), John Williams' departure, Dr. Feinman... even the bird. As a result, she woke up feeling considerably less than rested.

She also missed the biscuits John Williams had made. They'd tasted like home, and they made her wish - just a little - that she was back in Siloam. But, of course, if she'd never come to Chicago, she would have never met Herbert, and a part of her knew that he was an important part of her story, although she didn't know how yet.

She left for the museum, a little later than usual. She knew today was going to be rough.

She strode through the door at the museum and promptly found some of the animal droppings Feinman was talking about - with the bottom of her shoe. “Great,” she muttered, stepping back through the door and wiping her shoe on the mat. “Gross.” The bird. I guess I’ll have to take care of that today, she thought. But first things first. Laura Dell made her way to Sue’s exhibit, where Herbert sat already.

“Hello, Laura Dell,” he said. “I’ve spoken to Feinman, and you have the morning off. I was hoping you would join me for breakfast. I have an appointment after lunch, but I would like to explain why talking about Malynne is so difficult for me, and I’d like to do it somewhat privately.”

“How did you do that? Dr. Feinman just gave me time off, and I’m sure I’ve got a lot of work piled up and waiting for me.”

“You’ll only be gone over the morning,” Herbert said, dodging her question. “Anything there is that’s piled up, as you say, can wait until lunch.”

~:~

Herbert took her to Orange, a restaurant who offered, among other things, cinnamon-roll-flavored pancakes. Laura Dell ordered them and a cup of the orange-infused coffee, which had been recommended by the waiter. Herbert ordered the jelly roll pancakes.

“So I suppose I’ve whetted your taste for Malynne?” Herbert said after the waiter left. Laura Dell hesitated – but he saved her. “I suppose she did that for me, too. She came and spoke to me, and I could never get enough of her after that.”

“What was she like?”

“Like no other girl I’d ever met. She wasn’t shy.” He fiddled with his fork. Laura Dell hesitated for a second before speaking.

“What happened, if I may ask?”

“She got sick.” Herbert set the fork down. “We never had any children, though not because we didn’t try. She spent a lot of time with me at digs because of that.”

“Oh.” Laura Dell wasn’t sure how to respond to that – but thankfully the waiter brought their food to the table just then, saving her from having to respond to it immediately.

“I will not be back at the museum this week,” Herbert said a few seconds later as he cut into his jelly-filled pancakes. “I will be undergoing some more tests to determine the source of that cough, and the doctor has recommended I be hospitalized due to the somewhat invasive nature of these tests.”

“Oh, no,” Laura Dell said. “Would it be okay for me to come visit you while you’re in the hospital?”

“Of course. I will be at the Medical Center of the University of Chicago, and my tests will be mostly over by the time the museum closes.” He smiled. “You’ll have to keep me updated on that bird visitor.”

12 comments:

  1. Here it is, just a little late.

    I remembered that he'd been coughing pretty badly before, and since melanoma doesn't exactly explain that, I wanted him to get that figured out and treated, if possible.

    I also wanted to learn a little more about Malynne (I also REALLY hope I spelled that right). But I didn't want to rush too much into it... it's a hard line to walk.

    I tried to link to http://orangerestaurantchicago.com/orange/html/ where I mentioned the restaurant but I couldn't get it to work. Probably my bad internet connection in Rabbittown, AL (using my Verizon 3G through my computer).

    Hope you guys enjoy it! Sorry it was late.

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  2. Link works, so no worries there.

    Good call on the cough.

    We see Dr. Walters flexing his muscle with Feinman. It kind of adds a little extra to Herbert's character. I'm not opposed. Since Feinman is the "bad guy" in the story, it's nice to have another way of "beating him." Of course, we should avoid any Deus Ex Machina. I hate that stuff.

    I'd suggest the next scene take place for the most part in the museum, fighting Feinman.

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  3. Hey Cait, Nice Chapter!
    Yes, just after I infused the whole Melanoma detail, I realized that that didn't quite explain Herbert's coughing earler. I think that's ok though. He's elderly, and most elderly people have multiple health problems. The cough could maybe be something else that further propels the weakening physicality of his character. It might even develop into something worse later on, if his immune system is down during treatment, and we are looking for a way for his condition to escalate.
    I like what you did with Malynne, and I think we should also reveal something else about her. Maybe a flaw or something that makes Herbert more interested in Laura Dell. I don't know what that might be though.
    Good work!

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  4. Hey...just a quick question. Aren't are entrees supposed to be 1600 words and above? I was curious because I want there to be more of your awesome chapter!!

    - Megan F.

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  5. i wanted more too! what kind fo sick was malynne? it would be too convenient to give her melanoma from the digs too, so it needs to be something else. also, is the next chapter just going to continue from the middle of their visit to Orange? because herb said he wanted to talk to LD more about Malynne but he's barely mentioned her...

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  6. I guess they are supposed to be longer... I'll just write an extra long chapter next time. I was writing at 1:00 Sunday morning, so it must have just looked longer at the time than it really was.

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  7. Good work!

    I liked that fact that Dr. Walters had some power over Feinmen to convince him to give LD the morning off. I think it might be interesting to see some of this again later, particularly if Dr. Walters is sick and LD is taking time off to spend with him.

    I also liked the backstory with Maylnne. Perhaps someone else later can pick up on this and develope it more.

    I think it could be interesting to have LD visiting Dr. Walters in the hospital, but we can always save that for later too.

    I'm looking foward to the next chapter!

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  8. Good work Caitlin! I like that we are keeping them out of the museum and in more social settings. It seems like they can connect better when they dont have to worry about Feinman.

    Caitlin has set us up for a potential visit to the hospital. This could be a good time for LD to realize just how sick he is and what that might mean to her. Or if she doesnt go visit him, it could be a good time for her to explore her feelings towards him while he isnt around. It might be good to have a phone call or something from JW.

    I think things are playing out at a good pace right now. I really like the balance of revealing certain things about the characters but keeping some secrets for later.

    Good work guys!

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  9. Great job Caitlin! I really enjoyed seeing them go to a different resturant and the story continues beautifully!
    Bravo! :)

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  10. Wonderful! I also like the Feinman-Walters power struggle. It is set well for the next chapter. Great job!!

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  11. it was interesting to see Dr. Walters has some pull at the museum. I am interested to see what kind of relationship those two have or if there is something that happened in the past.

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  12. DW has some pull at the museum? Interesting.
    Great chapter looking forward to see whats next.

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