Laura Dell woke up before the sun and walked to work in Chicago’s early morning haze. She tried to focus on the new exhibit she’d been preparing for and working on since her first day a week ago: The Cenozoic Time Machine. The day before she’d started the internship, in the midst of arranging her new apartment, the museum director called and informed Laura Dell that she would be taking a leading role in the new exhibit because her major was Geology. The exhibition essentially offers a trip through the geological history of the Cenozoic period on earth. It was almost ready when its success was placed in Laura Dell’s hands. Make sure the setup is logical and be able to answer our guests and visitors questions by opening day, the director had said. The words burned in Laura Dell’s mind and caused her insides perform terrific acrobatic feats. One week to review everything she knew about the animals of the time period and the fossils that were on display—and she had thought she’d finally taken her last test seven months ago. She did well in school and actually preferred the classes that dealt with the Cenozoic Era because it was the one she lived in, though it stretched back millions of years. The problem was that Laura Dell had suffered a severe loss of confidence after the third “sorry we don’t need you” letter. She was thrilled for opportunity but did not expect her knowledge to be put to the test so quickly. To top it off, Mr. Feinman could not seem to forget the sparrow incident, so Laura Dell would be under particular scrutiny during the opening.
As she neared the museum, she tried to turn her thoughts toward her to do list for the morning, but Laura Dell could not help but to look up at the trees that were strategically aligned all the way down the street. The Chicago Public Works Department was doing their best to include nature in the city’s infrastructure. Laura Dell was in awe of the height of the trees on South Lake Shore Drive. She never imagined something could grow to be so great when it was trapped in a square of concrete and wrapped in a blanket of wrought iron.
When she arrived at work, she noticed Mr. Feinman approaching from the opposite direction. “Good morning, sir,” she said, forcing the corners of her mouth upward.
“Good morning, Ms. Dell,” he replied. “I hope you are adequately prepared for today. I would hate for the museum to be embarrassed on the opening day of such a brilliant exhibit.”
Laura Dell knew the look on Mr. Feinman’s face. Her mother had given her the same look every time she’d applied for schools, scholarships, or internships. It was the look that promised there was someone out there who was better. For the last few years, Laura Dell had been learning to live in the absence of the encouraging face that used to peek out from behind her mom. Her father would have noticed that Laura Dell graduated cum laude, not that she didn’t have a job lined up. John William did tell her the exhibit would be a hit and that she would know the answer to any questions “that old boss” of hers could throw out when she talked to him the night before.
She walked into the geology exhibit and paused to examine what lay before her. The time machine had received final touches during the night and was ready for final inspection. All of the boxes and packaging materials of yesterday had vanished and the floors had been toned down to create the atmosphere the exhibit designers hoped to evoke. Visitors should feel as though they’ve stepped back in time. They planned to make exhibits more of an experience and decided the floor was just too shiny.
Laura Dell’s heels echoed in the hall as she walked over to examine the diatryma and several other fossils from the era. She hoped she would live up to whatever Dr. Walters saw in her if he came through the exhibit under her watch. As she knelt down to examine the description of the diatryma, loud steps came from the hallway just outside the exhibit. Laura Dell took off to her office to grab her opening day checklist she needed to complete before nine.
* * *
“Ms. Dell, shouldn’t you have taken a lunch by now?” Eddie asked Laura Dell as she raced by.
She glanced down at her watch, “Oh Eddie, is it really almost three? I did think I was hungry a while ago, but I just don’t have time to eat. Mr. Feinman keeps finding things for me to do. Everything’s been good so far. I just need to run and grab a paper towel with some Windex on it. A kid already pressed his nose into the fossilized rock display case.” She gave him a smile and shrugged her shoulders.
“You got to take care of yourself, Ms. Dell.” Eddie let her continue through the museum.
Laura Dell walked quickly into Sue’s hall and almost knocked Dr. Walters over. “I am so sorry, Mr. Wal—I mean Dr. Walters. I did not see you getting up from the bench.”
“It’s okay, Ms. Dell. I’ve seen that look on interns before—that tunnel vision. Some snot nose kid got to close to a case.” Herbert Walters was not asking a question and Laura Dell thought his voice sounded rough, as if his throat was sore.
“Yes, sir. I’ve got to get a paper towel. Have you come to the exhibit yet?”
“No. I’ve just been sitting with Sue for a while.” Dr. Walters explained. “Where are you from, Ms. Dell?”
Laura Dell told Dr. Walters about the small town of Siloam, Alabama. “It’s not really close to anything, sir. It’s a good drive north of Mobile, and southwest of Birmingham.” She felt her heart rate quicken at the thought of home. If she was there right now, she could sit on the porch and read a good book and feel at ease. Laura Dell pushed the thought out of her mind. She liked her new job and knew her thoughts only stemmed from the particular stress that came with opening day. “Why do you ask, Dr. Walters?”
“You call me ‘sir.’ I’ve always heard that was popular in the south, but even in Texas, I didn’t hear it as much as I expected. Why don’t you run along and grab that paper towel and then I will let you give me a tour of the new exhibition. Isn’t that what you’ve been working on all week?”
“Yes, Dr. Walters.” Laura Dell sped off and returned with a couple of minutes. Dr. Walters had barely had time to put on his coat over his arm and pick up his cane, which still looked as unscathed as it had on day one of Laura Dell’s internship.
Laura Dell smiled and held up the paper towel with the faint blue circle. “I am ready if you are, sir.” She glanced down at the tweed coat draped of Dr. Walters arm and was disappointed that the crest was not facing out when she was finally close enough to decipher the details. The two walked around the corner and down the hall to the sound of Laura Dell’s heels and nothing else.
Dr. Walters allowed Laura Dell to lead the way. He listened to her introduction to the exhibit and did not say a word as they walked through the Holocene, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Miocene, and Oligocene Epochs. Laura Dell was in the midst of describing the birds of the Eocene Epoch when Dr. Walters leaned over to examine the nameplates of the goose and duck fossils that were on display.
“Ms. Dell. These are mislabeled.”
With furrowed eyebrows, Laura Dell leaned over to read and then looked up to examine the fossils. “Dr. Walters, I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Ms. Dell it should be quite obvious. Geese have less dominate wing structures. These tags must be switched. What did you say your degree was in?” Mr. Walters asked.
“Geology, sir.” Laura Dell responded as she stepped back and looked at the fossils next to each other. Dr. Walters was right. “Dr. Walters, I am so sorry. I will get this mistake resolved immediately.”
Mr. Feinman turned around from two feet away. “Excuse me, Dr. Walters. I must speak with my intern for a moment.”
Dr. Walters said of course and returned his attention to the collection birds.
“Ms. Dell. Did you or did you not verify the nameplates yesterday and this morning?” Dr. Feinman asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“And these two are incorrect?”
“Yes, sir. I am so—”
“I don’t want to hear it. First the sparrow and now this.” He rolled his eyes and shot off toward the offices, no doubt in search of the small screwdriver Laura Dell needed to exchange the nameplates. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she turned to face Dr. Walters again. He had stepped back from the displays, but was concentrated on something. Laura Dell followed his gaze. A small boy wearing a red Sue baseball cap was staring up at the diatryma. His mouth was open and his arms hung limp at his sides. Dr. Walters shifted his coat to his other arm and lifted up his cane. He didn’t seem to know what to do with it and settled for picking it up. He took a step forward and for a moment, Laura Dell thought Dr. Walters would approach the little boy and drop some knowledge to deepen the boy’s awe. He must have changed his mind though and stopped. The boy turned around and Dr. Walters was the first person he saw. “Now that is cool, huh, Mister!”
I tried to give us a little more action to get going with the exhibit opening... I chose an exhibit i hoped would be a source of connection between Dr. Walters and LD, but that hopefully isn't too cliche.
ReplyDeleteI'm not positive about how we want the relationship between Dr. W and LD to develop so I tried to build on Kasey and give us a little tension. I hope that when you read, you found LD to be excited but very apprehensive about the new exhibit and all of the responsibility. She knows her stuff, but she is displaced right now and overwhelmed (at least in my head) so her nerves are up. I also tried to connect to the end of Chapter 2, where LD wonders what Dr. W saw in her by showing her double checking his area of expertise.
I hope I gave us enough of Dr. Walters. I didn't want to dig too deep too quick, but I know we definitely were ready for him to make more of an appearance.
A very nice submission, Michelle! I agree that we're not quite ready to give all of Dr. Walters' personality away, and I think you kept a safe distance while still developing him a little further.
ReplyDeleteYou have a very honest voice, and it makes Laura Dell seem very down-to-earth. I also like the narrative pressure you’ve introduced with the strained mother-daughter relationship and the deceased father. You’ve also included many scientific details that give your narrative voice and Laura Dell credibility, so snaps for that! I feel like we have a lot to work with as far as a developing conflict with Mr. Feinman in the chapters ahead. Thanks for a most enjoyable read!
Great job Michelle! Like Sara Catherine, I like how you developed the relationship with Laura Dell's mother. You did a great job of taking Mr. Feinman and running with the tension I tried to put in Chapter 2, I also like how Eddie is emerging as a parent figure in Laura Dell's new world!
ReplyDeleteYou must have done some research with that exhibit! And it showed, I had to go back to my class on evolution to remember all those periods!
You also did a great job of showing the stress that comes with entering the real world, a stress that all of us are familiar with now or about to be!
I look forward to the next chapter, I hope we will be getting a lot of development on Herbert Walters and why he is so interested in Laura Dell to see what our internal conflict is going to involve.
Michelle, I think you did a great job of continuing the story, further developing Laura Dell's new life in Chicago and at the Museum, as well as Mr. Feinman!!
How could a Diatryma be cliche? That's "third column." Kudos.
ReplyDeleteI get the feeling that the next two submissions will need to develope the relationship between LD and Old Man Doctor Walters, LD and Eddie, and the internal conflict. I mean, if Eddie's gonna be the father figure (i.e. Supportive like LD's real father. Good detail, btw!) then what is Dr. Walters going to be for her?
Hahahaha. Love Triangle.
Anyway, I think the ending of this chapter is a perfect opening for describing Dr. Walters in the next. Just gotta figure out what the internal conflict's gonna be now, and we'll be set.
Nice chapter Michelle. I think you've given us some really good stuff to build on. From here I definitely agree that we should learn more about Dr. Walters. Your introduction of the exhibit was really well done and timely. I'm interested to see how Dr. Walters and LD will get to know each other through the exhibit.
ReplyDeleteI picked up on an contrast between Eddie and LD's mother and I think that could be an interesting thing to keep in mind for future writers. I thought that was a subtle, but important part of chapter that could be built on later in the story.
Loving the sceintific researhc done behind this! Great Job Michelle :)
ReplyDeleteI was intrigued by her nerves being up.. there are tons of ways to spark a conflict when people are anxious, so let's get to it! I can really see Laura Dell accidentally snapping at Dr. Walters when he is just trying to help her with the exhibit, or the other way around perhaps.
With the next chapter I feel like it's leading up to a mini synopsis of who Dr. Walters is. I am ready to hear a chunk of his story.
Great job! I'm excited about what is to come!
Good job Michelle!!
ReplyDeleteI too am interested in seeing what effects LD's lack of confidence has on her. This could provide some more internal conflict, especially if connected to the loss of her father or the rejection letters.
I also think it's time to get into Dr. Walters and see what is going on in his life- maybe through some dialogue or something else.
It's looking good.
sooo just a crazy idea for the bird.
ReplyDeleteBird lives in museum for weeks on end without peeps knowing. But one day they find half eaten fruit off the Live Tree in Chicago Exhibit, and Mr. Feinman gets suspicious and cranky. He demands LD be in charge of the mystery - LD can't figure it out either - asks Dr. for advice - they try and collaborate to find the cause - but Feinman beats them to it by accidentally finding a nest - and it's the straw that breaks the camels back. Everyone is anxious, things are going down.
Michelle! Excellent chapter!
ReplyDeleteI just want to say while I was reading it in the coffee shop I said, aloud, "Ugh Mr. Feinmen! I just want to punch him in the throat!" You did a superb job in creating this character through dialogue and he will act as a wonderful pressure to Laura Dell.
Concerning the upcoming chapter, I agree with the previous posts that it needs to really delve into Herbert. Hopefully I will be up for the challenge!
As for internal conflict, I have been thinking of the idea of Laura Dell's lack of self confidence could deal directly with her father's death. Perhaps she has the insecurity because her father left her prematurely and fears this will happen in other relationships. Or we could hone in on the mother/daughter issues. Either way I think we have some great potential building.
Once again, Michelle wonderful work. My favorite line was: "She never imagined something could grow to be so great when it was trapped in a square of concrete and wrapped in a blanket of wrought iron." Beautiful! Thanks for the links too!
Cheers,
- Megan F.
So, for starters, I really loved the way you compared Mr. Feinman to her mother, and brought her dad into the picture. I thought that was a GREAT way to show that, and not tell it. I also REALLY want to see why Daddy dearest isn't there anymore.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing I liked was that Eddie was watching out for LD. I thought it was cool how you mentioned his concern for her, fairly directly after her "flashback" to her parents.
YAY!
ReplyDeleteMr. Feinman is really reminding me of a couple of old supervisors I have had. UGH! I am really enjoying getting a better feel for Laura Dell through her interactions with other characters.
Very nicely done,
ReplyDeleteGreat set up for Doc Walt, I feel like we are ready to see what he is all about.
I like the comparison between Mom and the Mr. Feinman, I am wanting to see why she is such a downer and what happened with dad.
I really got the sense that "LD" is stressed and trying to show "DW" her stuff so to speak, so well done.
Over
I liked the comparison between Feinman and the mom and I am curious about what happened with the dad.
ReplyDeleteI am also looking forward to more of Walters.
Its looking great.
"A kid already pressed his nose into the fossilized rock display case"
ReplyDeletemichelle,
i'm becoming more and more excited about mr. walters. i like that Laura Dell isn't great at her job; it's good to hear her struggle with things fresh out of college, and part of me feels like that will form some sort of connection between she and herbert. you had some great descriptions of "museum life," and i love the tall trees wrapped in wrought iron. good job.
drew
I'm glad laura dell's relationship with her mother was mentioned. at least she has john william! i'd like to know how often they talk and ewhat her mother said when she finally got the internship.
ReplyDelete“She never imagined something could grow to be so great when it was trapped in a square of concrete and wrapped in a blanket of wrought iron.” Beautiful, and no kidding.
ReplyDeleteCan you really walk to the museum from Lake Shore Drive? I remember taking the El to the museum.
“His mouth was open and his arms hung limp at his sides.” Great description. This is exactly how kids look when they are amazed.