Dr. Feinman uncrossed his arms and pointed towards a chair in his office. “Inside, Ms. Dell.” Laura Dell couldn’t help but hang her head as she walked past Dr. Feinman, into his office. Feinman followed her in, shutting the door behind them.
“Sit,” he said as he walked around his desk, which was completely devoid of any signs of use, save for a nameplate and a red pen. Laura Dell watched the pen as she sat down in the chair, unable to bring her gaze up to meet Dr. Feinman’s. Feinman saw where she was looking.
“Can I ask you a question, Ms. Dell? I can, as it is you who are the intern and I am your boss. Do you know why I only have one pen on my desk, Ms. Dell?” Mr. Deinman asked in a low voice and then waited for her response.
“No, sir.” Laura Dell began wringing her hands.
“It is because this desk has only one place to put one pen.” Dr. Feinman’s voice was still low. Laura Dell’s gaze shifted to her hands as she sat, shoulder’s hunched forward, trying to become smaller.
“And since the desk has only one place for one pen, if I put two pens on my desk, my desk would be out of order.” Feinman’s voice was starting to rise with each sentance.
“And if my desk were out of order, then my office would be out of order,” Feinman continued. “And if my office were out of order, I would be out of order. And do you know what happens when I am out of order, Ms. Dell?” Feinman waited for her reply.
Laura Dell’s voice was fainter than before. “No, sir.”
“Then My Museum is out of order!” Feinman shouted. Laura Dell winced. “You ruin my exhibit on the first day, you embarrass me in front of loyal patrons, and then you disregard my orders and show up late to a scheduled meeting!”
“But sir, I was—” Laura Dell attempted to defend herself.
“I don’t need your excuses, Ms. Dell. This isn’t rural Alabama. This is Chicago, where people are civilized and act intelligently and orderly. And this,” Dr. Feinman jabbed the pointer finger of his right hand into his desk, “is the Field Museum of Natural History, the pinnacle of intelligence and order.”
Feinman’s voice regrew its composure. “You are going to have to abandon your ignorant practices and learn to cope with life in civilized society, Ms. Dell. Now, tomorrow I expect that there will be no misfortunate incidents. We wouldn’t want to be saying goodbye to Chicago just after we reached its glorious majesty, now would we? Hmm?” Feinman looked Laura Dell straight in the face, and waited once more for her to answer.
Laura Dell had at first been scared of Dr. Feinman, but now felt a mix of anger and indignation. She set her teeth together as she responded, “No, sir.”
Feinman sat back in his large, leather chair and crossed his arms over his lap. “Good, Ms. Dell.” He smiled and motioned towards the door. “You can go now.”
Laura Dell stood and left the office, making her way towards her own desk to retrieve her purse before going home.
***
Laura Dell shoved the door of the museum open and burst forward into the cold Chicago air, almost knocking Dr. Walters down the steps in the process. He relied on his feet, not his cane, to save his balance.
“Oh, Dr. Walters! I’m so sorry” said Laura Dell, grabbing onto his arm to make sure he wasn’t going to fall over again, after he’d steadied himself.
“It’s fine, Miss Dell. How did your meeting go?” Dr. Walters gave Laura Dell a reassuring smile.
“Terribly. But why are you still here, Dr. Walters? The museum closed fifteen minutes ago.” She gave him a questioning look.
Dr. Walters gave his familiar chuckle. “Well, we didn’t finish our conversation. You see, Miss Dell, an unfinished conversation is like a fossil only half revealed.” Dr. Walters motioned with his cane as though he were brushing sand off an imaginary fossil on the ground. “You have to finish the process, or else the fossil may be damaged or destroyed by abrasive elements in the wind.” He set his cane down and leaned on it ever so slightly.
Laura Dell nodded her consent but frowned. “But what were we talking about? After being yelled at, I’ve forgotten.”
Dr. Walters looked at his surroundings as though he were deep in thought. “Well, Miss Dell, I’ll just have to remind you over dinner, then.”
Laura Dell took a small step back, still holding on to Dr. Walters’ arm. As she was forming her reply, Dr. Walters said, “Now, now Miss Dell. I realize it must seem that I’m as old as Sue, so rest assured I’m asking you as a friend, and not as a creepy, old Quetzalcoatlus.” Both chuckled at Dr. Walters’ joke, and Laura Dell relaxed once more.
“So, let’s meet around nine o’clock at a favorite pub of mine, the Dead Yellowhammer. Ah, Miss Dell, I can see from your facial expression that you already know why I like it. They are even so technologically advanced as to have a website with directions, so you should be able to find it easily.” Laura Dell nodded her consent and finally let go of Dr. Walters’ arm.
“I’ll see you then,” she said.
***
Laura Dell walked into the Dead Yellowhammer at nine-oh-five and saw Dr. Walters sitting at a table covered by a few beers and a huge basket of potato wedges with, to her surprise, Eddie. They waved her over.
As she sat down next to across from Dr. Walters, she gave him a questioning look. “As I told you,” Dr. Walters said with a smile, “this isn’t a date.” Eddie laughed and gave her a sly look.
“Really, Miss Dell. Herbert’s over 70,” said Eddie. Laura Dell blushed and shot them both angry glares.
“Alright, alright. I wouldn’t want to date this old Pterosaur anyway,” she said as Eddie pushed a glass of roan beer towards her. “What’s this?”
“Southern Pecan ale. It comes from a micro-brewery in Mississippi,” said Dr. Walters. “I may be a Pterosaur, but I still know a little about beer. Now, Miss Dell, take a sip and tell us more about what our dear Dr. Feinman said in your meeting.”
“Oh, the nerve of that man,” said Laura Dell as she thought back. “He acted like he owned everything in the museum, and if one simple thing were out of order, the entire thing would come crashing down.” She looked between Eddie and Dr. Walters. “He called the South uncivilized. He threatened my job. He acts as if order is the saving grace of all humanity.” Her gaze shifted back to Dr. Walters. “He used ‘can’ improperly.” Dr. Walters gave a sympathetic wince.
“Well,” Eddie said, “at least he didn’t start trying to flirt with you like the intern from last year.” Laura Dell sipped her beer and gave Eddie a look of disbelief, but Eddie just shook his head. “I’ve worked at the museum for a long time now, Miss Dell, and I’ve seen Feinman do some pretty raunchy things. But if you keep your head about you, and learn to stand up to him, you’ll probably do alright.” He nodded his head at his own wisdom.
Laura Dell didn’t feel as assured as Eddie. “I’m just not going to screw up any more. That’s the most obvious solution. Still, he reminds me of the boss I had at a job in high school, always barking orders and never doing any of his own work.” She took another sip of beer, as Dr. Walters pushed the basket of potato wedges towards her.
She ate one, then continued, “But why are both of you here?”
“When you visit the museum almost every day as I do,” said Dr. Walters, “you tend to make friends with everyone who works there who isn’t what some would call a humbug.” Dr. Walters used his fingers to emphasize the word. “But for Eddie, well, I worked with his father some time ago.”
Laura Dell looked at Eddie accusingly. “Why didn’t you tell me all that when I asked about him before?”
Eddie shrugged. “Well, Miss Dell, I didn’t know you were going to go chasing after old Pterosaurs.” Eddie drank from his glass to hide the smile that crept across his face.
“So what did you and Eddie’s father do together?” asked Laura Dell, looking back at Dr. Walters.
Dr. Walters looked at the cane as it leaned on the table. “Well, when I met Eddie’s father, it was in the early 1940’s. Even my dreams of being a paleontologist had to be put on hold during that era.”
Eddie took up the story. “From the way I heard it from my mother, my father was career, while Herbert here was just doing his duty at the time. After the war, my father gave me to my mother, and then went off to Korea. He didn’t come back, but he and Herbert here kept in touch after the Pacific. First time I met Herbert was at my father’s funeral. But, that’s an old story. Now, how’s that beer we got for you, Miss Dell?”
“Sit,” he said as he walked around his desk, which was completely devoid of any signs of use, save for a nameplate and a red pen. Laura Dell watched the pen as she sat down in the chair, unable to bring her gaze up to meet Dr. Feinman’s. Feinman saw where she was looking.
“Can I ask you a question, Ms. Dell? I can, as it is you who are the intern and I am your boss. Do you know why I only have one pen on my desk, Ms. Dell?” Mr. Deinman asked in a low voice and then waited for her response.
“No, sir.” Laura Dell began wringing her hands.
“It is because this desk has only one place to put one pen.” Dr. Feinman’s voice was still low. Laura Dell’s gaze shifted to her hands as she sat, shoulder’s hunched forward, trying to become smaller.
“And since the desk has only one place for one pen, if I put two pens on my desk, my desk would be out of order.” Feinman’s voice was starting to rise with each sentance.
“And if my desk were out of order, then my office would be out of order,” Feinman continued. “And if my office were out of order, I would be out of order. And do you know what happens when I am out of order, Ms. Dell?” Feinman waited for her reply.
Laura Dell’s voice was fainter than before. “No, sir.”
“Then My Museum is out of order!” Feinman shouted. Laura Dell winced. “You ruin my exhibit on the first day, you embarrass me in front of loyal patrons, and then you disregard my orders and show up late to a scheduled meeting!”
“But sir, I was—” Laura Dell attempted to defend herself.
“I don’t need your excuses, Ms. Dell. This isn’t rural Alabama. This is Chicago, where people are civilized and act intelligently and orderly. And this,” Dr. Feinman jabbed the pointer finger of his right hand into his desk, “is the Field Museum of Natural History, the pinnacle of intelligence and order.”
Feinman’s voice regrew its composure. “You are going to have to abandon your ignorant practices and learn to cope with life in civilized society, Ms. Dell. Now, tomorrow I expect that there will be no misfortunate incidents. We wouldn’t want to be saying goodbye to Chicago just after we reached its glorious majesty, now would we? Hmm?” Feinman looked Laura Dell straight in the face, and waited once more for her to answer.
Laura Dell had at first been scared of Dr. Feinman, but now felt a mix of anger and indignation. She set her teeth together as she responded, “No, sir.”
Feinman sat back in his large, leather chair and crossed his arms over his lap. “Good, Ms. Dell.” He smiled and motioned towards the door. “You can go now.”
Laura Dell stood and left the office, making her way towards her own desk to retrieve her purse before going home.
***
Laura Dell shoved the door of the museum open and burst forward into the cold Chicago air, almost knocking Dr. Walters down the steps in the process. He relied on his feet, not his cane, to save his balance.
“Oh, Dr. Walters! I’m so sorry” said Laura Dell, grabbing onto his arm to make sure he wasn’t going to fall over again, after he’d steadied himself.
“It’s fine, Miss Dell. How did your meeting go?” Dr. Walters gave Laura Dell a reassuring smile.
“Terribly. But why are you still here, Dr. Walters? The museum closed fifteen minutes ago.” She gave him a questioning look.
Dr. Walters gave his familiar chuckle. “Well, we didn’t finish our conversation. You see, Miss Dell, an unfinished conversation is like a fossil only half revealed.” Dr. Walters motioned with his cane as though he were brushing sand off an imaginary fossil on the ground. “You have to finish the process, or else the fossil may be damaged or destroyed by abrasive elements in the wind.” He set his cane down and leaned on it ever so slightly.
Laura Dell nodded her consent but frowned. “But what were we talking about? After being yelled at, I’ve forgotten.”
Dr. Walters looked at his surroundings as though he were deep in thought. “Well, Miss Dell, I’ll just have to remind you over dinner, then.”
Laura Dell took a small step back, still holding on to Dr. Walters’ arm. As she was forming her reply, Dr. Walters said, “Now, now Miss Dell. I realize it must seem that I’m as old as Sue, so rest assured I’m asking you as a friend, and not as a creepy, old Quetzalcoatlus.” Both chuckled at Dr. Walters’ joke, and Laura Dell relaxed once more.
“So, let’s meet around nine o’clock at a favorite pub of mine, the Dead Yellowhammer. Ah, Miss Dell, I can see from your facial expression that you already know why I like it. They are even so technologically advanced as to have a website with directions, so you should be able to find it easily.” Laura Dell nodded her consent and finally let go of Dr. Walters’ arm.
“I’ll see you then,” she said.
***
Laura Dell walked into the Dead Yellowhammer at nine-oh-five and saw Dr. Walters sitting at a table covered by a few beers and a huge basket of potato wedges with, to her surprise, Eddie. They waved her over.
As she sat down next to across from Dr. Walters, she gave him a questioning look. “As I told you,” Dr. Walters said with a smile, “this isn’t a date.” Eddie laughed and gave her a sly look.
“Really, Miss Dell. Herbert’s over 70,” said Eddie. Laura Dell blushed and shot them both angry glares.
“Alright, alright. I wouldn’t want to date this old Pterosaur anyway,” she said as Eddie pushed a glass of roan beer towards her. “What’s this?”
“Southern Pecan ale. It comes from a micro-brewery in Mississippi,” said Dr. Walters. “I may be a Pterosaur, but I still know a little about beer. Now, Miss Dell, take a sip and tell us more about what our dear Dr. Feinman said in your meeting.”
“Oh, the nerve of that man,” said Laura Dell as she thought back. “He acted like he owned everything in the museum, and if one simple thing were out of order, the entire thing would come crashing down.” She looked between Eddie and Dr. Walters. “He called the South uncivilized. He threatened my job. He acts as if order is the saving grace of all humanity.” Her gaze shifted back to Dr. Walters. “He used ‘can’ improperly.” Dr. Walters gave a sympathetic wince.
“Well,” Eddie said, “at least he didn’t start trying to flirt with you like the intern from last year.” Laura Dell sipped her beer and gave Eddie a look of disbelief, but Eddie just shook his head. “I’ve worked at the museum for a long time now, Miss Dell, and I’ve seen Feinman do some pretty raunchy things. But if you keep your head about you, and learn to stand up to him, you’ll probably do alright.” He nodded his head at his own wisdom.
Laura Dell didn’t feel as assured as Eddie. “I’m just not going to screw up any more. That’s the most obvious solution. Still, he reminds me of the boss I had at a job in high school, always barking orders and never doing any of his own work.” She took another sip of beer, as Dr. Walters pushed the basket of potato wedges towards her.
She ate one, then continued, “But why are both of you here?”
“When you visit the museum almost every day as I do,” said Dr. Walters, “you tend to make friends with everyone who works there who isn’t what some would call a humbug.” Dr. Walters used his fingers to emphasize the word. “But for Eddie, well, I worked with his father some time ago.”
Laura Dell looked at Eddie accusingly. “Why didn’t you tell me all that when I asked about him before?”
Eddie shrugged. “Well, Miss Dell, I didn’t know you were going to go chasing after old Pterosaurs.” Eddie drank from his glass to hide the smile that crept across his face.
“So what did you and Eddie’s father do together?” asked Laura Dell, looking back at Dr. Walters.
Dr. Walters looked at the cane as it leaned on the table. “Well, when I met Eddie’s father, it was in the early 1940’s. Even my dreams of being a paleontologist had to be put on hold during that era.”
Eddie took up the story. “From the way I heard it from my mother, my father was career, while Herbert here was just doing his duty at the time. After the war, my father gave me to my mother, and then went off to Korea. He didn’t come back, but he and Herbert here kept in touch after the Pacific. First time I met Herbert was at my father’s funeral. But, that’s an old story. Now, how’s that beer we got for you, Miss Dell?”
Yes. I linked you Beer.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I attempted to flesh out Dr. Feinman. I think he may have started as Mr. Feinman, but I'm pretty sure we're stuck on Dr. now. I doubt I kept the tension from the last chapter, but we still have a huge argument, so it's ok.
I've kinda felt like there hasn't been a whole lot of stress centered on LD being a Southerner, so here you go.
I also added in more about Eddie. He can remain a side character or something else. It's up to... well... us.
Finally, I wanted to get us out of the Museum for a little bit. At least to let us see how people acted away from work.
Are we gonna have Laura Dell keep calling Old Man Paleontology Doctor Herbert Walters "Dr. Walters" or is she ever going to use his real name? I guess I should've done that here. But, there's still time, depending on what Chpt 6 does.
Oh, and as Eddie's been there 20+ years, I imagine him to be around 50... I figure he was born sometime between 1946-1950.
It occured to me that Eddie and Dr. Walters could be lovers. Food for thought. Would make for a great internal conflict.
Speaking of which, I think our internal conflict is going to be based around the relationship between Walters and LD. Good luck defining it more, Chapter 6!
P.S. it's really good beer.
Hey Chris, really good piece. I loved the description of Feinman through his obsession with order and "civilized society". I think that this is a crucial element in not only portraying Laura Dell's work environment, but also translating her "fish out of water" life in Chicago. Everything is really panning out well! -Dottie
ReplyDeleteI agree with Dottie...Dr. Feinman is exactly what I hoped he would be in this scene, and I'm glad you decided to highlight his negative views of the South.
ReplyDeleteIt was also nice to see the characters out of the museum, just as you mentioned. I do think, though, that Eddie needs to remain more of a secondary character if we are going to focus on the relationship between Laura Dell and Dr. Walters, but I like how you developed him in this scene. The info we learn about Eddie also develops Dr. Walters, so it's definitely taking us in a good direction. Nice job!
Hey Chris - good work. I enjoyed the last bit at the end in which you complicated things on Dr. Herbert's history. It is very intriguiging and makes me want to keep reading. I do like the part where you get them out of the museum. It was nice to sit in a different place for a change and feel the passage of time.
ReplyDeleteI am concerned about Feinman's character becoming too much of an evil character. I did like the dark history he seems to have behind him, but I think I was looking for it to be placed more subtly. This also goes for the other motifs in our story like the dead bird. The name of the resturant name is very clever, but I wonder if it seems a little too obvious what we are getting at? In the spirit of the novel, I think it's helpful to remember that things can progress a little more slowly and perhaps we can embrace that in our future writing.
I think since Dr. Walters insisted on being called "Dr." at the beginning, LD and Dr. would not be on first name basis.
Lots of hard work! Yay chapter 5 and onto chapter 6!
Good job keeping this chapter intriguing through your use of dialogue! The continuing involvement of the cane is also a nice touch, so well done Chris.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Allie and Dottie that it was a good idea to get them out of the museum and into another setting.
I enjoyed Eddie's presence but I'm just going to go ahead and vote against the idea of them being "lovers". I believe you were jesting with this suggestion, but just in case my assumption is wrong, I think this would be a complication that would take away from the fictive dream instead of adding to it.
As far as moving forward is concerned, I'm eager to see exactly where this conversation between Eddie, Dr. W, and LD ends up. Someone is going to have to run with the Korean war reference mentioned in this chapter as well so kudos to whoever takes that upon themselves.
I would suggest for future reference that we don't get too far down the rabbit hole without remembering to be subtle. We don't want to "beat a dead horse" over our metaphors, humor, etc. I think we're building some great momentum here with our first 5 chapters and I can't wait to see where it goes! Thanks Chris for your hard work!
Cheers,
- Megan F.
Good work Chris! I think the confrontation between LD and Feinman was really well done and made us all hate him a little more. I'm really excited that there is a past with Eddie and Dr. Walters. That should be a great way to reveal even more about Dr.W's character and it shows his connection to the museum. I'm also psyched that they are out of the museum, it gives them a more relaxed feel.
ReplyDeleteThe emphasis on LD's southern-ness was nicely done as well. It was a good way to remind us that she is a fish-out-of-water by showing us that people are judging her based on it.
In the next few chapters I'm looking forward to finding out even more about Dr. W. I'm going to have to agree with Megan in her stance on the thought of making Eddie and Dr. W lovers, I think that would just get too off track for the story.
Thanks for you contribution Chris! I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
First I would like to say that I like the change of setting. Variety is good. Also good job with emphasizing LD's southern heritage and the problems it is causing with Feiman. I agree with the others about the possible romance between LD and Eddie since we originally wanted to write a story about a mentor relationship and I think that Eddie would kinda steal the show. Anyway, good work.
ReplyDeletechris,
ReplyDeletei think we should make it a personal goal to pummel herbert at least once in every chapter. he's really been dealt some blows so far. i like your geology humor, and it's good to have a chapter that doesn't take place in the museum. good job telling us about feinman with his actions and words. good job.
drew
Good job!
ReplyDeleteI loved the scene with Feinmen and LD and the thing about the one pen and everything being in order. I thought that was pretty great and showed us a lot about his character and the environment of the museum LD is working in.
I too was happy to see them leave the museum. I think removing LD from the museum is a good idea for future chapters too. I would imagine Feinmen's "must have order" museum would not be a place she would want to spend all her time.
I'm against the Eddie and Dr. Walter's lovers thing as well. Dr. Walter's can be gay if we want him to be, but I don't think we need to focus on who his relationship is with unless it affects/informs his relationship with LD.
I'm really excited to see where this conversation between LD and Dr. W goes. I'm still wondering why this museum, why everyday. Now we know he is friends with Eddie, but there is still more to it I think. I'm excited to see how that is revealed.
good work guys!!
Chris!
ReplyDeleteYour scene with Feinman was great, i loved the one pen part of the scene. You painted him just as I imagined him! I also like that you got them out of the museum! It was good to see them in the real world!
I was somewhat confused as to how Korea got involved, I was under the impression from the previous chapter that Walters was in France and Germany, so we might want to try and figure that out.
From here on out though I think the science and bird references should be minimal until (or if) we bring the bird back. I think with the carolina wrens, the sparrow, and the dead yellowhammer, we have the bird covered!
but great work chris, and I can't wait to see more of LD and Dr. Walter's interaction!
K
Good job bringing Feinman out even though I cannot stand him!He adds new perspective to the story. I also like how Laura Dell's connection to the south stems Feinman's attitude towards her.
ReplyDeleteChris,
ReplyDeleteI think the story is developing well. I also really loved the scene about the pen. I think it really shows the atmosphere of the museum and LD's working conditions well.
I also liked the transition out of the museum, though I do agree that the bird references are becoming a lot. There were some funny moments in this chapter which I really enjoyed.
I also liked how you brought the cane into the picture. I'm interested to see how our future writers will handle the cane. I guess it began with Allie- old age did not seem to come natural. I definitely say keep it subtle, but I really like how the cane has come up.
I also like that Dr. Walters knows employees of the museum. Mr. Feinman knows him. He and Eddie hang out. I think it's good to point out that he's not necessarily this weird old man that spends his days in the museum. He's obviously friendly. That being said, I also have to echo some other comments and say I do not feel like an intimate relationship between Dr. Walters and Eddie is a good route to follow. I think it would shift the focus of the piece if we were trying to develop too many relationships- the friendship between LD and Dr. W should remain the focus. I also agree that he needs to remain Dr. Walters, even if at some point it turns to doc, but he did insist on her calling him Dr. so I think that's important.
Overall, great work, Chris! And thank you!
michelle
I really liked how you kept calling Dr. Walters a "pterosaur", and I loved getting to know more about Eddie. He's one of those characters that I really enjoy.
ReplyDeleteI also really like how a lot of people at the museum know him. As someone before me put it, "he's not necessarily a weird old man that hangs out at the museum." Moving them out of the museum helps that too, I think, as well as giving Dr. Walters a chance to develop himself.
I also LOVED (and hated) the office scene. I honestly was uncomfortable reading it... I don't do confrontations well... The "one pen" thing was really well-thought-out, and I think the whole scene gave a really strong insight as to where Feinman sits on the Good-Bad spectrum.
As for your "author's note," I kind of feel that Laura Dell, being nice and Southern and all, might have a hard time *not* addressing Dr. W as "Dr." - and Dr. Herbert doesn't work quite so well as Dr. Walters. Also, I hesitate to create a romantic relationship between Eddie and Dr. W, mostly because I agree that it would take away from Dr. W and LD's relationship.
i do like that beer. they have it at mellow mushroom and that's what i always get. hope she likes it. anyway, i want her to start calling him herbert. he seems like a guy that wouldn't be offended by the familiar first name use. also, i liked that LD referenced back to their previous conversation when she said that dr Feinman hadn't used "can" correctly. funny stuff. do we know what eddie actually does in the museum? did i miss that or just forget?
ReplyDelete“Do you know why I only have one pen on my desk, Ms. Dell?” Great way to show and not tell.
ReplyDelete“Well, we didn’t finish our conversation. You see, Miss Dell, an unfinished conversation is like a fossil only half revealed.” This is awesome. It allows them to continue the conversation in a non-awkward way, it shows Walters’ character, and it refers to the them of paleontology.
I think it would be a good idea to continue the pterosaur theme.
I like how Feinman's attitude toward the south is causing conflict. Also the scene with the pen was very well done. It is good that Dr. Walters knows other people at the museum. It gives him more scope and he's not just some old guy.
ReplyDelete